Struggling? Talk

That might sound pointless if you have real problems and need them fixed. But when we bottle things up we get ill. I did it for years.

I trained as a psychotherapist to share what I’ve been learning since then — how life can be fun again, and how to heal yourself (yes, I know how that sounds…). I was terrible at this, and I’m not alone: three men kill themselves for every woman. Men and boys are suffering silently everywhere.

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From the blog


Healing Guys - Psychotherapy for Men & Boys
Healing Guys - Psychotherapy for Men & Boys2 days ago
Some fascinating criticisms of Cafcass (the Children and Family Court Advisory and Support Service) by a judge below.

Cafcass is a non-departmental public body that "promotes the welfare of children and families involved in family court" and yet has been accused of being overtly ideological in its approach. Cafcass' agenda is based on the views of Women's Aid, Refuge, SafeLives and Respect, which favour the discredited Duluth domestic abuse model that fails to address root psychological or emotional causes of abuse, in addition to neglecting male victims and female perpetrators of abuse.

Quotes from the judge’s Approved Judgment (which means it can be published):

“There probably is no power in a court to compel Cafcass…”
“There was a clear direction from the court, but Cafcass felt it had the power to override it.”
“I believe [it is] apparent that it is the approach of Cafcass which has driven the course of this litigation. “

“It is my fear that general principles, perhaps a philosophy, has been applied by Cafcass to the case.”
“..there is to my mind nothing unique or even unusual about Cafcass’ stance in this case. At one point and probably more than one it is clear that the decisions were taken at a level higher than that of the officer.”

“I have several times referred to the widespread concerns held by judges here at the Central Family Court, as expressed to me as Designated Family Judge, concerning Cafcass’ current approach to these cases. I have referred to the meetings which I and other judges have held with Cafcass managers on the issues which arise in this case.”

“I reject the Cafcass risk assessment as being flawed for the following reasons. First, it assumed the mother’s allegations to be entirely true when there was no sufficient evidential basis for that. Secondly, the application of the ‘matrix’ in this case served to categorise both individual events and the general picture as more serious than they in fact were. Thirdly, there is no analysis as to whether the abuse was ‘situational’. I reject Cafcass’ general approach because the domestic abuse risk assessment has prevented an application of the welfare checklist.”

“..the issue of domestic abuse has so served to dominate the landscape in Cafcass’ … thinking, that it has prevented any proper consideration of the children’s welfare, or the application of the welfare test within section 1 of the Children Act 1989.”

“…any further involvement by Cafcass in this case is not required by me and risks further delay at best and at worst a further ‘wrong turning’."

"On paper whilst the criticisms may or may not justify the father’s suspension from the DAPP [Domestic Abuse Perpetrator Programme] by the rules which are applied by the course administrators, on any view they are to my mind very thin stuff as a basis for ceasing the children’s time with their father …it would in my judgment be wrong to make a contact activity direction or somehow tie successful completion of the DAPP to future contact arrangements"

"the risk of an undeserved suspension of the father from the DAPP are too high"