Struggling? Talk

That might sound pointless if you have real problems and need them fixed. But when we bottle things up we get ill. I did it for years.

I trained as a psychotherapist to share what I’ve been learning since then — how life can be fun again, and how to heal yourself (yes, I know how that sounds…). I was terrible at this, and I’m not alone: three men kill themselves for every woman. Men and boys are suffering silently everywhere.

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Use the contact details below to book a 50 minute session (£40) or a 30 minute consultation (free).

We’ll discuss what you’d like to get out of counselling and if you decide to continue we’ll begin with weekly sessions for a minimum of six sessions.

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From the blog

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Healing Guys - Psychotherapy for Men & Boys
Healing Guys - Psychotherapy for Men & Boys7 days ago
A mother killed her five year old and then herself on Father's Day after being refused custody in court in Kent. The Serious Case Review makes some encouraging conclusions and recommendations around male victims of domestic abuse, a topic that rarely sees the light of day in the family court system. Quote:

5.4 Male victims of domestic abuse do not see themselves as victims

5.4.1 Domestic abuse by women against men has been the subject of much debate; one view is that domestic abuse is almost entirely committed by men against women. Another perspective is that domestic abuse is a human problem and that women, on occasion, may commit acts of domestic abuse. Evidence from analysis of data from the Crime Survey for England and Wales indicates that almost three-quarters (74 per cent) of domestic violent crime victims are female and 82 per cent of domestic violent crimes are committed against women. Over a million domestic violent crimes per year (on average) were committed against women, compared to just over 200,000 per year against men.20 Research into 190 male callers to the ‘Domestic Abuse Helpline for Men’, however, shows that a small number of men are seriously abused by women. All callers experienced physical abuse from their female partners, a substantial minority feared their wives’ violence and were stalked; over 90% experienced controlling behaviours and several men reported frustrating experiences with the domestic abuse system. One explanation for this gender bias may be that men report their own victimisation less than females and furthermore many men do not view female violence against them as a crime. Hence, they differentially under-report being victimised by partners on crime victim surveys.

5.4.2 The relevance of better understanding of the nature of domestic abuse by women to men is twofold; firstly, in order to improve the response to the male victim; but also, to better understand the nature of the risk posed by the perpetrator of the abuse. In this case father felt well-supported by agencies and was acting to protect Child H. It is clear, however, that at least initially he did not see himself as a victim of domestic abuse. One impact of this may have been that professionals also under-estimated the risks and did not fully explore all safeguarding concerns regarding mother particularly in relation to her role as a counsellor.

6 CONCLUSIONS

6.5 There is limited research available for professionals about working with male victims of domestic abuse and there is some debate about the levels of abuse of men by women. The research available, however, does show that men struggle, both with the stigma associated with the concept of being a victim of domestic abuse, but also with the concept of being a ‘victim’. In this case it seemed apparent that the father did not identify himself as a ‘victim’ which may have meant professionals under-estimated the relevance of mother’s behaviour. For this reason, it is important that professionals when working with male victims of domestic abuse are aware that men may minimise its impact.

7 RECOMMENDATIONS

Recommendation 5
That KSCB (Kent Safeguarding Children Board Serious Case Review) and the Kent and Medway Domestic Abuse Executive Group develop an increased understanding of the needs of men as victims of domestic abuse and what this means about the nature of services that should be provided for them.

(full report linked below)

https://www.kscb.org.uk/__data/assets/pdf_file/0009/96687/20190625-KSCB-Serious-Case-Review-Child-H-Final.pdf