You don’t feel safe on some level and your mind is sounding the alarm, flooding your body with stress hormones. These hormones are how we made it this far as a species but sometimes, given the complexity of modern life, we never feel safe, and so they never turn off. We get very ill when this happens — it is actually a major cause of death, the biggest killer of British men under 45. Just under half of men aged 18-45 have contemplated suicide.
Counselling and psychotherapy is about exploring why you don’t feel safe.
The goal is to make sure the alarm doesn’t go off unnecessarily anymore. It’s pretty normal for boys and men to feel scared about talking about this stuff. Ashamed, weak, silly. The first step takes courage, but I promise you that from then on in it won’t be anything like how you imagine.